"/r9k/ - ROBOT9001" is a board for hanging out and posting greentext stories.
/r9k/ is an imageboard where there are no exact reposts.
1. If you attempt to post something unoriginal, it is not posted, and you are muted temporarily.
2. The time with which you are muted for doubles with each transgression.
3. Each mute time is 2^n in seconds where n is the number of times you have transgressed. So,
your mute time doubles each time you fuck up.
4. Backlinks, eg >>1, are not viewed by the robot. So "lolwut" and ">>2 lolwut" are the same post, in the
eyes of the robot.
5. Gibberish at the end of a post to force originality may result in mod intervention (no BLOX posts please).
6. Images are NOT included in the filter, only text.
7. Your mute count slowly decreases over time.
8. You cannot post a picture without text.
9. Unicode is blocked. Sorry, too many exploits (Cyrillic letters, etc).
10. Posts require a certain minimum amount of original content in order to be posted.
11. Post sane, real content, well thought out replies, and mutes are unlikely.
12. The original algorithm was designed by XKCD:
Do not post pictures of yourself on /r9k/.
Do not post threads asking for pictures of other users.
All "rate me" and camwhoring threads belong on /soc/.
How do I not become like you?
I an 16
*insert GTFO zoomer here*, slightly chubby slav but trying to work out at the school gym, never had friends or a gf, average looking, no real hobby except playing Ultimate Apocalipse or Blood and lurking here, trying to get into writing and coding, no fashion sence.
What's with all the fembots who are seemingly obsessed with yaoi?
Varadkar is a lad edition
Americans why are your cities so shit tier?. No beautiful historic architecture, instead you have shit tier modern architecture everywhere. Can't walk anywhere and you gotta have muuh car so exploration is impossible. Shitty grid system that makes the city not feel organic and cozy. Downtown is trash and is either office buildings or a ghetto unlike EU cities which are historic and rich. No fast, reliable and clean public transportation that allows the city not to get traffic jams 24/7 and allows you to go to point A to point B in less than let's say 15 min instead of 1hr in traffic. Fat girls are everywhere in NA cities. Crazy homeless people everywhere you go. Lastly your tallest buildings are shitty company buildings and the companies will probably go bankrupt in less than a century, compare this to EU cities where the buildings usually are comprised of century old and respected institutions such as the church which gives the sense of continuity, culture and stability.
Sunday morning edition
Is a butt plug an appropriate gift to buy a teenage girl for her birthday? My sister has been asking and my parents are refusing, but they are very close-minded.
All I want is a cute little girl to whisper into my ear and tell me she wants me to fist her!
>bored at home
>friend texts me
>wants to hang out
>says no in the last minute
I just want to go out but too autistic to go on my own
fembots tell us the worst thing you ever did to a guy
>>Enjoy doing fun sporty things, taking risks and going on adventures.
>>Find a girl on Tinder.
>>Go on dates.
>>Git in relationship.
>>She's a normie that watches Memeflix all day.
>>Want to go on a long run with her but she doesn't like running.
>>Want to go on a long walk with her but she doesn't like walking.
>>Suddenly become bored of her.
>>Had girlfriends like her before.
>>Realise most girls are like this.
>>Stay with her.
I need some new ones anon!
Hello fellow male men, do you hate pussies that look like roasties? I sure do, what a disgusting thing. But what's about them that make it so unnapealing? Why do they look so disgusting to us manly males? Got any explanation?
Also fuck women for living on easy mode, they will never understand our pain.
When did normies start to dominate the internet?
What year would you say it was?
cute girls thread
post qts and wish they were your gf
Why are autistic people such shit at living alone?
Just be confident anons, it works.
>tfw a fembot will never shrink me and keep me as her personal plaything
Reality is a curse.
She posted this picture after Valentine's day. What did she mean by this?
>.2% of the world's population
>control worldwide finance and politics
>keeping alive a 5000+ year heritage
>look like this
Remind me again why whites think they are the master race?
Evening lads, reggae anon here. Saw there wasn't a thread up. Never stop creating frens.
>"I promise I won't abandon you"
What do men mean by this?
I'm a manlet (5'8") and why do manlets always feel like they need to act up? Behave kindly, like a normal person ffs.
Fembots, if you could re-create your appearance to your exact specifications, what would you want to look like?
/wont pass out edition/
what have you guys been doing lately?
>made any new friends or girl friends?
>has your mental health improved or gotten worse
>are you fasting?
I ate today, pic related but I only managed the small steak and the greens, I only eat 1 time every 5 days.
I cooked it over the fire, was so nice.
>everyone is masculine
>no good feminine trap
Account deleted and app uninstalled
You faggots lied to me
what's your thoughts on elliot rodger
Like if you have a very deep discussion with some anon and then you're left wondering if you ever got to talk to them again? Maybe they've left this place or maybe killed themselves. Maybe they're replying to this very thread, but neither of us will ever know.
Just a couple of basic american white guys hanging out
Before I got bipolar I started seeing a spirit. Then right before my bipolar got even worse I started seeing another spirit. Im not one of those nuts who thinks tots and pears can cure mental illness but sometimes I wonder if in some cases its caused by demons interfacing with your brain and fucking stuff up.
I am in a bit of trouble. I am in the habit of drinking at least a handle of vodka a day. I fully understand I am a pathetic alcoholic but this has been my routine for over a year now. I generally drink until I pass out. Well I fucked up yesterday and forgot to buy today's bottle(s) and my fucking state doesn't let you buy booze until noon on Sundays. That is 4 and a half hours from now. My hands are shaking so bad I can barely type this. I hope I don't have a seizure. I live alone and nobody is here to help me.
Sunday Karen and Anonette thread. Also cute family stories thread.
Why didn't you save her? She just wanted to be loved
did you have a dream last night? can you remember it? what was it about? if not, what is a fav dream you've had?
last night i dreamt that i was in the animated version if the prince of egypt but the imagery was way eerier. apparently i was possessed by spirits and the only way to cure it was to have a full nights sleep while floating in water. so at night i got into a indoor pool. floated on my back and went to sleep. when i woke up the next morning ( in the dream) i was at the bottom of the pool. i was awake but i couldn't open my eyes. i was drowning. i inhaled a bunch of water in a panic. i couldn't tell where the surface of the water was. it felt so real i remember thinking "i guess i'm about to die" and then eventually i made it to the surface of the water.
please tell me none of you guys actually watch cock and ball torture unironically
>never fell for the "black is beautiful" meme
>if you have to continuously tell yourself something is true, it likely isn't
>want long, soft hair
>have to essentially buzzcut it to keep it manageable
>god damn it all
>want angular features
>have broad, gross nose
>no sense of belonging
>6'2" 24 year old black guy who is shy as a mouse
>not acceptable past the age of 16
just fuck my shit up.
So I superlike right? I heard that women with some physical troubles are good waifus for cyborgs and robots.
itt red flags
>she has tattoos
Why do black people hate it when I say what up my nigga?
I think Randy Stair aka Andrew Blaze aka Ember Mclain aka Tranny Phantom is an interesting person. What do you think? He left more of a mark on my mind than the Supreme Gentleman. Elliott left a manifesto that was essentially just a REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE cause tfw no gf. Tranny Phantom left tons of videos and journal entries and just general insight into what motivates a mass shooter. He was a normal fucking kid. He had a Call of Duty youtube channel. He felt like his father didn't value him. He enjoyed cartoons. What snapped in his mind?
Skinny jeans crushing my peepee
>on no fap
Femanons what is your anal status?
>just vomited after drinking half of the vodka bottle for the first time
>get home from work at 5am
>take a shower then take 2 shots of vodka
ITT: Red flags for males
>uses social media
>isn't a virgin
>likes to party/go clubbing
>has drank alcohol, used drugs, or smoked even once in his lifetime
>has a large beard that covers a lot of his face
>on his computer most of the time
>hates female nonvirgins (not one myself, but still)
>has more than five friends
>listens to normalfag music
>watches normalfag shows and movies
>has leftist/left-leaning political views or supports causes that leftists support
>dyes her hair
>has female friends
>likes shopping and is materialistic
>follows popular trends and normalfag culture
>Talks back or acts aggressive ever
>is career-oriented (biggest red flag of them all)
>doesn't want kids or a traditional family
>*opens ur bob *
wat do femanon
Do incels actually view themselves as the good guys?
>tfw no pimple popping asian dermatologist mommy gf
Thread general for shut ins to speak about their experience as one.
>how did you become a shut in
>do you have mental helath issues, if so list them
>will you ever recover
DISCLAIMER: technically noone outside japan can be a hikikomori because the condition is unique to japanese culture, however western shut ins have adopted the term and will use it among themselves.
Western shut ins often are worse mentally than japanese ones as the reason for their isolation is mental illness.
YOU NEED COOLING
BABY lM NOT FOOLIN'
There's a pretty girl orbiting me at work (I'm part time receptionist so I see a lot of random people everyday) but I have this family issue of them needing all my money to survive, that started a year ago. So I decided I don't give a fuck about women until my situation is stable again, but then there's this girl who seems like she's accepting everything that's happening to me.
What can you do IRL that costs $0 ?
Hug sibling or parent and say "I love you"
my period came
no abortion for me
i just saved $600
Why don't you go to a singles night for gamers to meet cute gamer girls?
>tfw hate women
>can only view them as pieces of jiggly meat that take dick
How do I change this way of thinking, or is my brain already fucked?
I don't even watch porn anymore
I think about getting fucked all the time.
Which race of woman do you prefer?
Waking up next to waifu edition
Why do people get so mad when I say the Holocaust is fake and I hate kikes? I guess it's the Jewish media brainwashing making you feel angry for your masters.
How many Greek robots are there?
Looks matter deeply, and if you believe differently you are blue-pilled as fuck. And they matter a lot for girls too. And that is just the way things are, and this is how they will always be.
>B-but femcels don't ex-
This video perfectly describes the average poster of /r9k/. Why don't you get help and cure your loneliness? It's just making you bitter, hateful and more lonely.
guis i dont know what to do. i keep hurting my bf deeply. i feel like everyday i say something that completely crushes him. i love him so much i just want to break up with him to avoid hurting him more. but he'll never understand that i did it out of love. he'll think i was just using it as an excuse and that i never cared about him. most recently i started complaining about my weight. he said it makes him uncomfortable because he's overweight and twice my size. i feel i have made him very insecure. i tried to explain that my own insecurities have nothing to do with him and that i am very attracted to him. i like the fact that he's chubby it think it's super cute. i just prefer myself when i'm slim. but he doesn't believe me when i tell him this. at this point i can't break up with him because it will break his heart. if i stay with him i will keep hurting him and he will never break up with me because he's too attached. how do i become more aware of what i'm saying before i hurt him?
About to start wageslaving at McDonald's, already want to kms. How soon can I quit without notice?
Anyone got a McDonald's stories?
>Enter your uncle's basement
Ayo whiteboy, you ready for another round of /r9k/ minecraft autism?
Then get ready for a pure macho server, if you have low testosterone levels do NOT join under any circumstance.
version 1.12.2, we're currently using biome bundle.
Hello you wonderful people, come have a little chat with us or just come and vent
People seem to think they need to answer all of these questions, you dont, just answer the ones you want or dont answer at all and start a topic of your own :)
How has your day/night been going?
How are you feeling? why?
How is your relationship with your family?
See them often?
Whats your occupation?
Do you hate it?
What would your perfect partner be like?
Do you have any dreams?
What are they?
What do you think about our world
If you could change the world, what would you do?
Upload something comfy if you have something :)
tomorrow you wake up and find out you're the last and only person left alive on earth
So hypothetically if someone was bored and lonely out of their mind and just wanted to sell themselves or get abducted, how would they go about doing it?
Asking for a friend.
"I'm not a bad slime! (slurp)"
Share your music/soundtrack here.
Bonus point for Monstercat Edition.
How often do you get any real exercise?
>nothing to talk about since they don't have any experiences to share
>annoying to talk to since they can't read conversational cues due to lack of experience with people
>will either leave the whole conversation to you or won't shut up about her autistic interests and will brush off any attempt to bring up your own interests due to not being open to new experiences and lacking learned empathy
People who fetishize shy inexperienced girls have never interacted with one, they're annoying as fuck.
Why do Westerners have massive egos?
>finally meet a girl that want to fuck me
>10,000 km away from each other
>3rd week of nofap
>hook up with girl
>cum in 3 seconds
wtf how do i last logner
i love getting high around children and playing dolls with them just like a little girl
post only the finest gfs
Waaaa i don't want to go to work tomorrow !
I don't even work a full work week, how do wagies manage this without blowing their brains out
Alright lads, my discord got disabled due to like, "threatening others" but I never did such a thing. Have you guys ever had your accounts disabled and got them back successfully? it is possible?
Close relative died yesterday And I am getting driven home early from vacation because they died.
I'm high rn
Anyway what are you anons listening to?
I been listening to neutral milk hotel lately.
is it possible that we don't get gf's because we find them boring?
i have been on tinder for a while and everytime i find that i look down on women because they talk normie things which don't interest me. everytime someone replies, im like oh fuck off dumb cunt.
im the same at work. everytime they talk among themselves and are laughing i find it silly and ignore them.
i think we rejected society and not the other way around.
>have crush on girl at school
>she's entirely out of my league
>sometimes gives glances over at me in the hall or cafeteria, but never says anything
>she's always surrounded by friends
>one day, riding the bus home
>see her get on
>she sees me, this time doesn't look away
>just kind of staring at each other for what felt like way too long
>she almost holds up the line and hurries in
>start worrying that she'll sit by me
>start worrying that she's too disgusted by me to sit by me
>put my face into bookbag, pretend to sleep
>feel a weight appear next to me and smell something like cucumber melon
>look through the crack in my arms, its really her
>a few other seats open but she's here for some reason
>get an erection from her soft thigh bouncing against mine
>silence the whole way, still pretending to be sleep
>she gets off at her stop
>when i get home, boot up the computer and start looking for lingerie model thighs
>fap until my parents come home
>next day, see her at school
>she's shooting mean looks at me now instead of glancing and looking away
>her friends notice and ask who i am
>she says "he's nobody"
>start sucking my pet lizard's dick
>they go back to their lunch, and i to mine
>get invited to a party, friend tells me girl will be there
>gonna be booze and weed
>decide to go, its lit af
>keg stands and beer pong
>see girl in a corner by herself
>start sucking my pet lizard's dick
>gulp down the rest of my cup in one swig and refill it
>go over to girl, this time she gives me a playfully mean look
>start sucking my pet lizard's dick
>we chat, and actually get on pretty well
>she chugs down the last of her beer and grabs my hand
>pulls me outside where people are making out
>oh shit nigga its on
>she grabs my face and makes me look at her
>staring into my eyes with a smirk that scared and aroused me at the same time
>practically breathing in eachother's mouths
>my pet lizard's dick retracts into his body
>on date with qt boy
>we get indian food
>he orders chicken korma with rice
>"i can't eat rice, it reminds me of maggots"
>"oh really, anon? that's... interesting"
>"yeah, when i have rice in my mouth i just think of that video with the guy with maggot invested gums"
>"i've never seen that"
>show him the video
>he excuses himself and goes to the bathroom
>ten minutes later i ask a male waiter to check on him
>"there's no one in the bathroom, miss"
why do i always sabotage myself like this? why can't i just be normal?
Earlier today, I had an interesting thought:
What if robots and fembots married each other?
How is this any different from blackface?
LADS. What are the best playstation 2 games?
>please dont say shadow of colossus
It is absolutely charming knowing that so many adorable young men are thinking of us humble women all the time. I love counting the amount of posts on this board that explicitly mention us women. It is such a delight to know that these wonderful young men think of us from time to time.
I am simply swooning!
Fuck niggers and fuck kikes
Area why do my Vienna sausages look like this
>Hey big bro, are you ready for RaHoWa?
>Girls don't want to fuck me.
The pinnacle of /r9k/ posts.
i make these threads
Latinas will look like this at 50. This is JLo
any robot with knowledge of psychology? explain the mind of a volcel pls
YAAAS queen SLAAAY, cause STDs to become antibiotic resistant which will kill millions because you want to fuck around with different Chads and Tyrones totally worth it QUEEN
So who is you obsession /r9k/ ?
mine is a girl on instagram who posts video games / nerdy stuff ..
>shitty YouTuber with 300 subs
>videos are usually less than 10 seconds and get 20 views or less
>only reason I have so many subs is because of one video I made that got over 100k views
>one day friend makes a YouTube channel
>his videos all have less than 10 views and he has 20 subscribers
>make fun of him and tell him he'll never surpass me
>but one day he tells me one of his videos blew up
>it only got 2k views but now he has 200 subscribers and he's gaining on me fast
What the fuck do I do r9k? I CANNOT let this bitch get more subscribers than me. Help me please.
ITT we walk into the graveyard of /r9k/ and find our shaman spirit
>Any tripfag or namefag who like """died"""(doesn't post anymore) can be one
You can also choose an old anon if they kinda stuck out and describe them, even better if you have the memes they posted in pic form
My shaman spirit will be that tripfag eeyore who used to post here years ago
kicked from discord server i was sort of addicted to ;-;
>He says Im beautiful and perfect
>Hes fat and ugly
Why do guys who are clear losers go for women who are much higher than them? J
Even the most unattractive girl is given attention at a whim.
Even the most unattractive girl will look at the men around her and see them as mediocre compared to celebrities, the top 1% of the top 1% of males vying for that social position.
Even the most unattractive girl can get sex on demand.
It's important to understand just how worthless and disposable men are when it comes to social power.
did you guys know chip chan is still at it?
she is alive and still thinks pea put a mind controll device in her foot.
>You're just to self conscious anon.
Can't even hide my autism from my friend.
>trap I meet IRL at fighting game tournament is hot
>says she will fuck me
>his dick is bigger than mine
how do I cope?
With how many of you have I talked to through the years? I feel like I've connected with every single one of you in some way.
Im tired of being alive, every day I waste with doing nothing productive. Thinking of the reason for my existence.
Always coming to the same conclusion, their is no meaning, no one owns you anything, existence is pain.
Existence is suffering.
Why is it like this, did i do something wrong to be punished like this?
I curse my existence, curse my parents for conceiving me, for planting me in this god forsaken world.
Why? I didnt chose to be alive, i didnt choose to exist, but here i am. Suffering.
I wish I was never born at all.
I wish It would end once and for all.
Pls, drag me to the void.
I want to be gone...
>not intelligent in a way that matters
>mentally ill but uninspired
At least my locust-like consumption keeps the economy running, right?
>wants to do assignment
>material no available because mod leader is an IT illiterate retard
At least that's a good excuse to procastinate. How's your weekend going, robots?
>I have cancer
>im not very intelligent
>i have adhd
>im possibly autistic
>i have no friends
>i dont have an interesting personality
My life sucks, I cant fix it by myself and no one is willing to help me fix it.
The logical answer is to kms but I dont feel suicidal at all
>tfw no gf to bully into bondage gear
>go to https://thispersondoesnotexist.com/
>refresh until you find a qt girl
Ban me from posting on this godforsaken website every single post I make gets archived with 2 replies asking
what the fuck I am doing.
I thought this was the place for autists.
I lurked 1 year before getting brave enough to post.
How do you do it? how do you succeed with getting actuall replies?
If im 18 and working for the family buisness, am I basically jobless in the eyes of women? I dont make much but im going to school and once I pass the class ill get a certification for to get an actual job, but until then?
Is it better to kill yourself or go columbine?
I need a member for my two person secret society. Basically im looking for a sidekick companion to help me with my endeavors. You must be an intellegent bored friendless male virgin.
What would you call the grey countries? They both have western and eastern influence but they're a lot different than the west and the east.
How do I melt the big ice spike inside my chest that's preventing me from doing anything?
What THE FUCK happened to BMTH?
Why does listening to ambient glitch while posting on this shitty board all day so comfy?
Creepy crawling, in your crib, we're comin' to kill
Catch you while you sleep, wake up to a gun in your grill
Doing Satan's business, tie you up, hang you
Strangle you, 22cal. bang, bang you
Mephisto with a pistol, methadrine crystal
Give me all the money, to me you're less than shit stool
what would your life be like if you were a cute innocent looking girl? i would probably scam pedos and whiteknights on discord and spend all the money on videogames and xanax, do this till i die from an overdose at 21
Why do people marry and why is it such a bad idea?
I read pages of this and now I can only help but feel women who look more like men are smarter?????
Where do I find a 13 year old girl who will let me rub her body?
come to Omegle!
tags: 4chan, /r9k/
I found some drunk af qt3.14, and it was a win
Where is my no-fap bro, you didn't post today bro, i hope you hanging in there. We're together in this, we can do it.
>"hey anon, do you want a lick?" ;)
Games that made you more robot!
>"nigga" - not racist
>hard R - racist
Staying alive for her sake edition
>You can be lonely while having a gf and family
What the FUCK did they mean by this? Are normies really taking their meme illness this seriously and think that if they don't have 10 friends to talk with and only have a wife, kids and 5 friends that they're done for?
im highly considering suicide, recommend me some simple and painfree methods
expert mode: no guns here, need something else
Top 5 Rappers
1. Lupe Fiasco
5. Jay Electronica
what are you listening to anon?
Daily reminder there are 13 year old girls browsing /r9k/
And i've talked to one of them
reminder that femanons should never shave their pubes
I have an idea making a "joke-religion", which can be used as motivation to do/achieve something.
Will have some buddhist, cynic/"diogenean" and stoic concepts and be made like Baruch de Spinoza believed religion should be.
Btw we will praise this turtle, not because we believe he is a god, but because the concept of the turtle is virtues and praise the idea to become like the turtle (we will figure out what the concept is later).
As i dont know enough about philosophy and religion to make a religion and have English skill like a second grader with at crayon up his ass, i would like to know if anyone is interested in helping making this "joke-religion" taken serious.
Consider it, being high priest of the turtles order (or whatever we call it), unless we decide not to have a ranking system with popes and cardinals, then you will be a saint instead.
What's your favourite porn star? The one that get your going even from a random pic you see on the Internet.
>Boyfriend found all the raunchy texts and photos between me and Chad
>It's his own fault for snooping through my phone
>be me, a social outcast
>18th Bday, since no friends decide not to celebrate it
>my mother's neighbour come with children
>also her daughter the same age as me comes
>Guess what I do? Decide to just avoid that and go play on my laptop
>Don't even establish eyecontact when they go
>Is this peak retardation?
>all my matches ghost me after they get a taste of my autism
>don't know how to talk to people
>don't know how to carry on a conversation
>I just keep sending them music or youtube videos I like and asking questions about them
what am I even supposed to do ? It's always a one way conversation that doesn't last longer than a day
Come join the cult of the holy turtle.
Join the disc server: HNC3X7 to be a part of writing the foundations of the holy scriptures.
For more info: >>51022835
Thanks for allowing me to waste your time.
>tfw no gf with mental problems, isolated, neets, hikis, who do not like social contact
Don't you guys think that trying hurts more than doing nothing? Whenever I find a girl that is somewhat interested in me I fuck it up.
2 days ago I was invited to this cute goth girls birthday party, got super drunk and did a few dumb things. I slept with the girl in the same bad and hugged her and started touching her. She didn't say no to it but at the same time, she didn't do anything herself. After the party whenever is message her she responds coldly with short answers. Now the shame of me doing those stupid things while drunk hunts me and will probably do till I die. It's always like that. If I instead spent that time at home I would feel a hundred times better.
I think I will just stop trying at this point.